I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
