did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
