I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
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when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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