why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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