Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
