grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
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yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
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Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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