this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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