cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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