I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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