i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He? As in you personified your dick?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
