was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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