we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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