exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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