College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
