i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
