I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
