If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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