I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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