The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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