Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize