i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
