In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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