Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
