I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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