My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
