I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
