dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
