John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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