found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
