HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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