The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize