Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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