well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
