If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
