you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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