im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
