Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
