No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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