I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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