How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
