There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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