Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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