Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
