We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
