So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
