I think i peed on brittanys purse
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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