Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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