Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
All the doctor said was why
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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