I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
