dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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