I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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