MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize