Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
