Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
