his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
