i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
