Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
His nipple licking is glorious
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