Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
