it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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