this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He passed out mid-signature
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
